I found a new reason why I would be better off not circumcised. The other day I was chopping jalapenos and habaneros when I needed a bathroom break. I must have not washed my hands enough before going because my glans burned like fire until I took a cold bath to cool it down.
Where circumcision comes in is I noticed my glans and circumcision scar were glowing beet red, but none of my shaft skin was affected. The glans and inner foreskin are mucous membrane. The outer foreskin and shaft are more like regular skin. My theory is that had I not been circumcised, I would not have gotten pepper oils on mucous membrane since I could pee without touching them, and wouldn't have been burned.
To properly test my theory I would need to rub a freshly cut chili up and down my dick and see where it burns and where it doesn't, but unfortunately for you, I'm not willing to torture myself for science's sake.